Yume To Akumu (Dreams & Nightmares)
Would you rather have a nice dream or a horrid one? Usually, it doesn’t make any difference to me because I never remember my dreams anyway. For the last 14 years or so, I’ve had dream amnesia and could only remember two or three dreams a year. Almost always, they were nightmares. The two weeks before I left for Moscow, I woke up over and over again with beautiful dreams. It was awful. I would get depressed just remembering them. LOL. I would much rather have nightmares. After coming home from Moscow, I’ve had beautiful dreams almost every night, and it’s killing me.
Good dreams hurt because I know they will never happen. Bad dreams are a relief because I know they will never happen.
Now that everything in my life is back to the way it has been for the last few years, reading, studying, and spending a lot of my time teaching my friends’ children, the week I spent in Moscow is fading into a dreamlike quality. It doesn’t seem real that we actually spent all that time together. As I look through the pictures again, it just doesn’t seem real. And it hurts.
Maybe I’m not being thankful enough. Or maybe I’m just going through withdrawal.
emethhesed
emeth.hesed
