Cousins are the perfect relationship. So close we can share hearts, but apart enough we don’t fight. These are the cousins I met on the trip.

Conry Cousin
Shaun (23) - one of the two “big” cousins I have; I never got to talk to him this time; the last time we talked, we were 7 and 8; at least Ben and Berek stayed up with him all night this time and have told me about their talk; I’ll see him at Kristi’s wedding and maybe we can talk then; but I don’t know, ’cause he’s already getting all excited about going to the Nascar races the day after the wedding

Houf Cousins
David (24) - the other big cousin; the only cousin I have older than I; the first couple times we met, he was a big bully; the third time we met, he was a scholar and a gentleman; I’d been really looking forward to spending time with him, but this time, we only got to talk for a few minutes after the funeral and he had to go back to work, far, far, away; we’re going to get together this fall; can’t wait!

Kristi (23) - we used to write each other once a week, but somewhere in the long years we were apart, our correspondence died; of the 3 girl cousins I have, she’s always shocked me by being the greatest tomboy I’ve seen, but funnily enough, every time we meet, she’s one of the ones who has shown me most how to be girly and womanly; she’s getting married soon; I’d wondered how her fiance Aaron would fit into our family, but after a few days, I have found him to a very cousin-like man

Jonathan (20) - I never really knew him before this trip; he used to be just the cute little boy with a curl on his forehead; in 7 years, he’s all grown up; no curl anymore (it’s shaved off); he has quiet, piercing eyes that go wild when he smiles; we have talked for hours and hours, at his house for a day and a night, then on the phone a few times (once, longest phone call of my life: 6 hours), and have not been able to run out of things to talk about; I think his next phone bill will force him to declare bankruptcy

Kou Cousins
Christopher (23) - “a fellow dreamer since we were babies, a fellow chaser of phantasmagorical shadows” … from babyhood through childhood and adulthood, I’ve spent more time with him than any other cousin; for years, we read all the same books and send each other all our writing; last trip, we spent a week together, staying up all day, all night; his mother says his brains and mine operate on a wavelength nobody else has; meeting this time confirmed that the wavelength is still very much there, uh huh

Timothy (19) - whenever I hear or remember the song, “You Are My Sunshine,” I think of Tim; when he walks into a room, it lights up; he’s such a beautiful boy, inside and outside; a natural artist, is always sketching or taking pictures (I’m trying to get him to post some of it online one of these days); I SO miss having his arm around me all the time; he and Matthew are the only boys I walk around everywhere with our arms around each other

Matthew (16) - he notices everything, cares for everyone; when he was younger, he’d be tucking in his shirt all day and always making sure his socks were pulled up to the same height; he’s the one that keeps things running smoothly, staying sane when everyone else is going wild; and he’s deadly with a gun (he’s won all kinds of competitions for his shooting); he could fan you with his eyelashes

Joshua (11) - cute kid, trying sooo hard to keep up with the big kids; keep it up, buddy-boy; just a few more years….

Smith Cousins
Lowell (24) - he was supposed to be born a week earlier than me, but was born a week later; just married last month to Ashley; he does something with computers; haven’t talked with him since we were 8 years old

Monica (23) - married last year to Jeff; she’s a dancer; didn’t get a chance to talk with her this time either

Ian (14) - geek in the making; we sat around, played with my computer, wished we had faster CPUs, talked about gadgets, had fun; he has a license for ham radio; I hope I can get one soon, too

Micah (11) - quiet; melts into the background; he likes fantasy; I’m going to send him some books I used to not be able to let go of, help him sink ever deeper into dreamworlds

Isaac (6) - my youngest cousin; great kid, I like him a lot; Dennis the Menace is tame next to him; I wish he could learn martial arts; he’d be lethal; while we were together, he would punch me any chance he got, and ran in circles around me yelling rhythmically, “You’re fat, you’re fat, you’re fat….”

To my great surprise, one of my students has just started blogging … in English. Go take a look. You might enjoy it. <resists the strong temptation sending off a long e-mail with a list of errors and corrections>

Arrival
- meetung aunt, uncle and a pile of boy cousins
- picking up Berek (and his new facial hair) the next day
- shopping for a black dress and black shoes to wear to the funeral with Cousin Timothy, an even better shopping companion than Berek
- staying up, night after night, talking with cousins

Gramma Smith’s Funeral
- driving to Indiana where Gramma moved to (from Ohio) before she died
- listening to Berek excitedly pour out to Papa the things he studied at La Salle and with Dr. Garver (”Continental philosophy … John Milbank … blah blah”); not understanding it and getting sleepy
- laughing when Papa would tell Berek to define terms more clearly
- perking up when Berek started talking about Claire and Laurel and dancing
- meeting uncles and aunts again, most of whom I’d not met for 7 years
- meeting so many cousins and a couple cousin-in-laws, some of whom I’d never met
- listening to Uncle Tom’s beautifully written words about his mother, and remembering the times I’d spent time with her
- meeting a lot of Papa’s aunts, uncles, and cousins
- talking with Gramma’s cousin, “Uncle” Brown, hard of hearing, hale, hearty, in his 90s, on whose farm Papa played when he was a boy
- yelling at Uncle Brown (”No!”) while we were talking, because he suddenly took my left hand and asked, “Not yet?”
- seeing a different side of Papa, understanding him better, by seeing him in his own country surrounded by his own family
- finding out that I am not only the tallest female on my mother’s side of the family, but my father’s side as well

Visiting Gramma Winnie
- driving non-stop from Indiana to Florida, picking up Uncle Dave (Papa’s best friend from high school) in Ohio on the way
- listening to Uncle Dave and Papa talk for hours and hours
- hearing stories from Uncle Dave about when Papa was a boy
- being taken out to dinner at Wendy’s by Dave Thomas
- meeting Gramma Winnie (my great-grandma), Aunt Janice (Winnie’s daughter), Kristy (Janice’s daughter), and Katrina (Kristy’s beautiful baby daughter)
- being captivated by stories of our family, from day to night
- attending a depressingly silly Reformed church
- playing Scrabble with everyone for three hours; beat by Gramma … then beating her back
- driving back from Florida to Illinois <ARGH>
- having a good long talk with Uncle Dave as he took the night-driving shift and everyone else slept
- dropping him off at an airport in Atlanta because he needed to get back to work the next day (the trip wasn’t as fun after he left <shhh>)
- driving through the Appalachians for a couple days; it was beautiful
- finding a wonderful store on the way
- stopping in Indiana on the way back, picking up things Gramma had so carefully prepared to give to us before she died
- wishing I’d had more time to spend with Aunt Lisa and Uncle Tom (Papa’s siblings)
- driving around the neighborhood Gramma and Grampa had lived for most of their lives and where Papa had grown up
- meeting Uncle Dave’s parents and spending the morning with them
- ending up spending the night in Ohio, unexpectedly, with some of Mama and Papa’s old friends from a church Papa used to pastor; a perfect example of warm Christian love and hospitality

I’m tired.

The month in America was a wonderful trip, and our entire time there was greatly blessed. But at the same time, it was an emotional roller-coaster ride, at times almost unbearably gut-wrenching, because it’s most likely the last time we’ll see them together as a family, if at all. I’ve finished writing about the first part.

Before we went on the trip, if I got to bed before 2 am, I felt I was getting to bed early. When we arrived in the States, I didn’t have any jetlag. Most of the time we were there, I was up till almost dawn. Since getting back, I’ve been completely jetlagged. I’m so jetlagged that I get exhausted around 8 or 9 pm. I push really hard to stay awake till 10 or 11, then crash. And I wake up between 5 and 7 am without being drowsy.

I love jetlag.