Living here, I get deja vu all over again, over and over again. There are so many glitches in the matrix that life seems to be nothing but glitchy. Here are some conversations I’ve had recently. (Parentheses include my unuttered mutterings.)

Old Japanese guy comes over.

- I hear you’re a Christian.
- Yes, I am.
- I’m a Buddhist … but I believe in Jesus Christ, too! (Big smile.)

*pulls out hair*

Yeah. He’s probably another one of the people here who believes in reincarnation and heaven and hell. Most Japanese people are both Buddhist and Shinto. They see no contradiction in being both. For that matter, they don’t have a problem with tacking together as many religions as necessary. And for a logical and “modern” people, with one of the highest literacy rates and educational standards in the world, they (amazingly!) don’t see anything wrong with believing that bad people both go to hell and are reborn as bugs. So many times, I’ve talked to various people and tried to explain to them if you’re in heaven or hell, you can’t be reborn, or that if you’re reborn, you can’t be in heaven and hell. They just shrug blissfully and assume it works somehow. Mindboggling nonchalance.

Different old Japanese guy.

- I hear you’re a Christian.
- Yes, I am. (OK, I wonder what’s coming.)
- Bush is a Christian.
- Yes.
- Christians and Muslims are monotheists. They only believe in one God. So, they don’t allow for any other gods.
- That’s right. (Actually, Christians believe in a triune God, not a monad. But you wouldn’t understand the distinction, not to mention I can’t get a word in edgewise.)
- That’s why there can be no peace between Christians and Muslims.
- That’s one important reason, yes. (He looks too eager … what’s coming next?)
- That’s why Japan and China are going to rule the world in the near future.
- (Huunnh?)
- We are Buddhist! We Japanese don’t believe there can be only one God, so we can be at peace with everyone!

*pulls out more hair*

Yeah. Just like the Japanese were at such peace with everyone just 60 years ago that they massacred countless millions of men, women, and children all over the world. Mhm. Sure. I learned a while ago, the hard way, not to talk about politics and religion with people at office parties, especially after they’ve had more than a few drinks.

Young Japanese guy.

- You’re a Christian.
- Yes.
- You want to kill Muslims, just like Bush.
- (Huh?!)
- Bush is worse than Bin Laden. Bush started a war and is killing innocent people. Bin Laden just bombed the World Trade Center because Bush was taking oil away from the Muslisms and making them poor.
- (That’s a lot of declarative sentences from someone who hasn’t even started drinking yet. Whew.)

Argghhhhh. *runs around room screaming, pulling out remaining hair*

There. Now I don’t need to worry about my hairline anymore.