Thou Shalt Not Smile

Yesterday, there was a funeral for a top guy in one of the firms I work at. I didn’t attend, mainly because I wasn’t invited, because I’m not important enough, but even if I were, I would have had to skip church and commit idolatry, worshipping his dead body as a newborn god.

This morning, the CEO spoke to all the employees, admonishing them thus.

One of the worst things you can do at a funeral is chat with other people. It doesn’t matter if you meet people you know. Funerals are not weddings, and there should be no small talk. Above all, there must be absolutely no smiling. Smiling at a funeral is not only impolite, it is shameful to our firm.

And he went on to talk about business matters.

I should have known about what he said, but I was surprised anyway. All the funerals I’ve been to were church funerals. People were sad and serious, but there were always smiles, sparkling with tears, shining with peace and joy.

That’s the difference between children of Satan and children of God, those who know in their heart of hearts they are on their way to hell and those with assurance they are on their way to heaven.