There’s a sociological term for what I am: “third culture kid.” Wheeeee! I had some fun poking around Google Blogsearch and found this. So many applied to me it was scary.

 

You Know You’re A Missionary Kid When . . .

You can’t answer the question, “Where are you from?” (Never could. I don’t expect I ever will.)

You speak two languages but can’t spell in either. (Well, sort of. I speak 3, but can’t read or write in 1.)

You flew before you could walk. (Yep.)

The U.S. is a foreign country. (Sure is.)

You have a passport, but no driver’s license. (LOL.)

Having four distinct seasons other than: dry, very dry, rainy, very rainy, is a new experience. (Yeah, sorta.)

You have a time zone map next to your telephone. (Have had time zones on my desktop for years and years!)

You would rather eat seaweed than cafeteria food. (Heck, yeah.)

Your life story uses the phrase “Then we went to …” five times. (My parents weren’t the kind of missionaries that moved all over the place. We stayed put. One church, one place.)

You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried. (Not exactly.)

You frequently say, “I don’t know. I was out of the country.” (Politics, TV shows, fads, pop music, you name it, I had no idea what people were talking about.)

You think in grams, meters, and liters. (Of course.)

You feel uncomfortable in school without a uniform.

You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean. (Not just swear words. All kinds of slang.)

You wince when people mispronounce foreign words. (Yesssssssss.)

If someone asks what school you went to, you reply, “depends on the year.” (No. Home schooled all the way.)

You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel. (LOL.)

You go to the U.S. and get sick from a mosquito bite. (No. But got freaked out by how big the mosquitoes were.)

You worry about fitting in, and wear a native wrap around the dorm. (ROTFL. Yes.)

You are afraid to ask what you are eating, but munch away, with a smile on your face. (Mhm.)

Walking miles to and from school is “normal.” (3 miles one way.)

You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas. (Skippy Extra Crunchy, please.)

You watch a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are REALLY saying into the camera. (Yes.)

National Geographic makes you homesick. (Every time.)

School gets cancelled due to flash flooding.

Tropical fruits aren’t imported. (Some are, some aren’t.)

You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs. (Yeah. Don’t.)

People simply don’t understand.

You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.

You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone. (Not yet.)

You don’t know where home is. (Heaven.)

Strangers say they can remember you when you were “this tall.” (Bajillions of strangers.)

You have friends from or in 29 different countries. (Hyperbole, but, yes.)

You do your devotions in another language. (Yep.)

You sort your friends by continent. (I do!)

You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.

You tell people where you’re from, and their eyes get big.

“Where are you from?” has more than one reasonable answer. (Or none.)

The nationals say, “Oh, I knew an American once…” and then ask if you know him or her.

You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service. (Oh, yes! It was exciting.)

You realize that furlough is not a vacation.

You’ve spoken in dozens of churches, but aren’t a pastor.

Furlough means that you are stuffed every night … and have to eat it all to seem polite. (Ugh.)

Your parents decline your cousin’s offer to let them use his BMW, and stuff all six of you into an old VW Beetle instead.

You stockpile mangoes. (Yummy.)

You don’t know where home is. (Not on earth.)

You know what REAL coffee tastes like. (Not Starbucks.)

The majority of your friends don’t speak English as a first language. (True.)

Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong. (Always.)

You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball. (What’s football?)

You don’t know how to play Pac-Man. (I honestly had no idea what it was until I looked it up just now.)

You know there is no such thing as an international language. (Right.)

You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism. (*nods*)

You tell Americans that democracy isn’t the only viable form of government. (Personally, I favour constitutional monarchy … or some kind of government incorporating a modern updated version of the Witenagemot back.)

You realize what a small world it is, after all. (Tiny, tiny. Especially if you’re a Christian.)

You never take anything for granted.

You know how to pack.

All preaching sounds better under a corrugated tin roof.

You know raw fish tastes better than cooked. (LOL.)

When guests come to your house and bring a fish as a gift.

Going to the post office is the highlight of your day. (Not really.)

When you sing songs to yourself in a language other than English.

When you mother gets excited over finding Doritos at 7-11.

When on deputation you have memorized Dad’s messages.

When after the church service you look for a slide projector to put away.

When wearing shoes in the house sounds disgusting.

You get excited to find cokes are on sale for only 99 cents.

You carry Bibles in two languages to church. (Yeah. It’s double heavy.)

You watch an English language video and read the foreign language subtitles. (Always.)

When you dream in a foreign language.

On your 18th birthday you still don’t have a driver’s license. (I still don’t.)

You send out birthday invitations in a foreign language.

When you carry a dictionary everywhere you go. (In my laptop.)

When your five foot tall mother is taller than most of your church members.

Your Dad scolds you in a foreign language. (LOL. Yeah. It’s convenient to have a secret family language.)

When you don’t know how to count American money. (C’mon. It’s confusing.)

When you go on furlough your Mom buys everything in the store. (Not everything.)

When adults want to pay you to teach them English. (That’s how I’ve made a living for over a decade.)

When you can’t find shoes to fit your feet in any of the shoe stores. (Not since I was 12.)

When you would rather sleep on the floor than on the bed. (It takes some practice to fall asleep on those American beds.)

When the family gathers around the computer to check the e-mail. (LOL.)

When you enjoy getting together with other MK’s and talking about old news. (Only other MK’s I know are my brothers.)

When all your clothes have been worn by someone else. (For most of my life, yeah.)

When at your yard sale the 80 year old man next door buys your mother’s culottes.

When your friends know more English grammar than you do but can’t understand English conversation. (True, until I started teaching English grammar. LOL.)

When you find a seven-year-old picture of yourself on someone’s refrigerator. (Freaky, that.)

When you know how to send a fax using an international call back service. (Used to know.)

When you have carried the same dollar bill in your wallet for four years.

When you write in your diary in a foreign language. (Yes.)

When driving on the right side of the road gives you the willies. (Mhm.)

When the traffic light turns from red to blue.

When eating with chop sticks seems natural. (It is. Why do people put metal in their mouths?)

When eating spaghetti with chopsticks is easier than using a fork and spoon. (Much easier!)

When you have explained the difference between “The cow is on the field” and “The cow is in the field.”

When you take a shower before taking a bath. (Of course. Or else the bathwater will get dirty.)

When you call senior missionaries grandma and grandpa.

When the message on your answering machine is in two languages. (When we had one, yes.)

When you move into a new house you take a gift to all your neighbors. (Always.)

When earthquakes seem normal. (No biggie.)

When your Mom sends you out to sweep the street in front of your house. (Doesn’t everyone?)

You speak to different ethnic groups in their own languages.

When you pull into a gas stand and expect people to come running out screaming welcome! (They scream, “Irasshaimaseeeee.”)

You consider parasites, dysentery, or tropical diseases to be appropriate dinner conversation. (LOL.)

You tell people what certain gestures mean in different parts of the world. (Yes.)

You have stopped in the middle of an argument to find the translation of a word you just used. (ROTFL. Ah. The trouble of arguing with people who don’t have the same vocabulary.)

You calculate exchange rates by the price of Coke. (I don’t like Coke.)

You would rather have a Land Rover Defender than a Lexus.

You enjoy textual criticism of customs forms.