Erika‘s post about “modern American attitudes towards crying” reminded me of a quote that stuck in my mind years ago when I read Letters to an American Lady by C. S. Lewis.
I am very sorry indeed to hear that anxieties again assail you. (By the way, don’t “weep inwardly” and get a sore throat. If you must weep, weep: a good honest howl. I suspect we — and especially my sex — don’t cry enough now-a-days. Aenas and Hector and Beowulf, Roland and Lancelot blubbered like schoolgirls, so why shouldn’t we?)
Grrr. I really enjoyed that book and I love Lewis, but I get frustrated with the Eurocentricity of his thinking. Anyway….
There are countless examples of people in the Bible, men and women, showing their grief. They cried an awful lot (for a quick start, see cry, weep, wept). And they didn’t stop with crying. Their expressions of grief would be considered worthy of Bedlam by modern, “civilized” folk. What would you think of someone ripping his clothes and covering his head in ashes, howling at the top of his lungs? I know I would probably think, “Nutcase!” But I shouldn’t. David writes a great deal about grief in the Psalms and the Son of David was not afraid to show his tears either.
I used to think tears were like money: the more there were, the less they were worth. That quote up there, among other things, including a certain friend who encouraged me to cry a lot, made me the blubberer I am now. Strange how being strong and standing on your own makes you weak and acknowledging your own weakness (and showing it in tears) and utterly depending on God makes you strong.
I suspect that his Eurocentricity comes from the fact of his training (he was trained in Western literature, right?). I also suspect that he wasn’t near so comfortable with the Bible as he was with Aneas, Hector, Beowulf, and Lancelot. Plus, keep in mind that an old, soft, British bookworm from the ’40s doesn’t have nearly the same opportunites to be cosmopolitan as a 21st century girl with no home country :)
The sentiment that “the more there are (of tears) the less they’re worth” seems quite Japanese to me. Or maybe it’s a universally “Romantic” idea.
In any case, whatever the norms are for proportionality in grief… I too like to err on the side of overdoing it. And the Lord “puts them in his bottle,” Ps.56:8
Dane: Please, make no mistake. I love the old, soft, British bookworm and his flowing words that fertilize my imagination. For years and years, growing up, the one person I would have chosen to meet besides my dead grandparents was Lewis. But Eurocentricity is frustrating no matter where it comes from, because the Kingdom of Heaven, with a King from Judea and most of its citizens from outside of Europe, is most certainly not European.
Baus: I’m not sure if it’s Japanese. The person I learned it from was not Japanese. I think it’s a universal untruth. *grin*