ya ok sor elax sum cl0wn sedns mai sist4r liek b00ks over here lma0 thinks he’s a pr0 n0w. lma0 liek we accept bribes or wat rofloLz

ya relax … these clw0ns think they can sends b00ks w/out askin ferst.

this clw0n is g0nna wr1te 2me ferst ove rhere 0r wat tell meh hou t3h hekk he is b4 he can wr1te mai sistar or wat so relax …

Jon and Joel and Berek have all made their 300-million-dollar plans. Here’s mine in chronological order.

1. Tithe.

2. Buy land for a church building and a school building for the church kids. (For an idea of what land costs are like here: 1 million dollars will buy a tiny little bit of land about a tenth or a twelfth of an acre in the suburbs of Tokyo. If you’re feeling rich….)

3. Buy a house for Mama and Papa.

4. Send them on the honeymoon they never had. They both want to go to Europe.

5. Cover Ben Zedek’s seminary tuition and book expenses when he gets back to Japan.

6. Cover Berek’s grad school tuition, living expenses, and book fund.

7. Travel to all those places I’ve read and dreamed about, starting with Navarre, St. Petersburg, Bavaria, Ireland, Tenochtitlan, Titicaca, the Great Wall….

8. Pay for my own grad school expenses.

9. Start school a school with no grades. Just classes of various levels. And Hebrew and chanting will be required daily subjects. More about the dream school later.

10. Start a publishing company with my cousin Christopher.

The Pea Little Thrigs

In the happy days when there was no haircity of scam and when pork nicks were a chopple apiece, there lived an old puther mig (In other surds, a wow.) and her sea thruns. Whatever happened to the migs’ old pan is still mistwhat of a somery….

Back and the Stean Jalk

Once there lived in the Ittish Briles a woor piddow and her sig bun, Jack. Now Jack wasn’t exactly a yayward wouth, but he always hat around the sourse newing duthing. He never fifted a linger to do a witch of stirk. In other words, he was a bazy lum!

See more from the book or just go buy it!

My department just moved into a new office and I’m soooooo happy with the new room and my new desk. The last room was really big but had no windows and sitting for 6 hours at a time in fluorescent light with non-smiley people was very depressing. Now, instead of close enough to people to feel their breath when they sigh (no kidding!), I have my own little corner facing a huge window. Granted, the view is two office buildings, but when I look up, I have my very own sliver of blue, blue sky.

I’m the only person here with a desk facing a window instead of being nose-to-nose with another person. Whoo hoo! Thank you, God!

It dashed in front of me, lightning fast. I looked around desperately for something to smash it with and could only see towels. My poor hand. *retches* I could feel it twitching for a while. *runs around screaming* I can’t believe I did that. *gags* I wanna cut my hand off. And the smell. Why do they smell kinda metallic? Argh.

This is the third cockroach we’ve had in the apartment in fourteen years. I think it came in through the vent like the other ones.

This background was made for this blog by my cousin Ian, who always brightens my day IM-ing me when he sees me online.

I wish I got to see him growing up. I’ve met him twice, at a family reunion (age 7 and really cute!), and the second time at my grandmother’s funeral (age 13, still really cute!). According to him, he’s not such cute little kid anymore, but I haven’t seen any pictures of him since then. We tried out voice chat today for the first time and I’m trying to adjust my impression from boy soprano to almost-man voice.

Blood ain’t thicker than water, but it shore is thick.

- Dang. I can’t WHOIS it.
- You just verbed WHOIS … transitively.
- LOL. Verbing weirds words.
- To quote Bill Watterson.
- Blogspot subdomains can’t be WHOISed anyway.
- Wow. Now there’s passive voice. LOL.

His nails are discoloured from excessive smoking and chewed down to near nothingness. There are scabs on all his fingers in varying stages of healing. Disgusting. Must be very painful. His shoulders are always hunched. Standing or sitting, the square toes of his huge black shoes are always turned in. Except for his slitty eyes, everything about him droops, head hanging as if by a thread from the ceiling, jacket dangling loosely on long skinny limbs, and jaw hanging with thick chapped lips closed. When everyone else is comfortable, his acne-spattered blue-green-white skin drips cold clammy sweat until his tie is an irrecoverable mess.

Excerpt from a real, hour-long conversation (baaaaaaaaaaaaad lunch break).

- [whines] He doesn’t like me.
- Uhhhh.
- He’s jealous and upset because he has 6 months seniority but I got the promotion. He won’t stop teasing me about it.
- So tell him, “I’m the boss. Shut up and do your work.”
- Ohhhh, no. [chewy fingers tremble] I could never say that.
- Laugh it off. Tease him back. You’re his boss.
- He’ll be more mean to me if I do that … do you want some of my rice? It’s really good.
- No, thank you. I’m getting pretty full. [Just not with food.]

Whew. Now it’s my turn to laugh things off.

Real friends are there for you when you need them. Fake ones say all the right things but are soooo busy that they have to go to a party instead. I’ve had that experience. Here’s MK’s.

Claire is budding into a beautiful girl and Joel has written a lovely post about her. I wish I had one of those Narnia doors, one that opens into the Garvers’ house.