I have a choice between two hospitals and one birth center. Yesterday I had a checkup with my doctor and today I met a midwife.
Whose hands would you trust your own life and the life of your baby with?
Take your pick.
Male, strong, warm, rough-skinned hands with big-knuckled fingers, late 40s, fit, muscular, clean-cut, extremely businesslike, terse, clipped manner, controlling, always in a hurry, sees so many patients he does not remember your name, doesn’t care who you are, has never borne children and never will, and has no problem killing your baby if you want to, too.
Female, soft, wrinkly, bird-bone hands, short, tiny fingers with no grip, weak arms, late 40s, grossly obese, dandruffy, greasy, thinning hair, passive, withdrawn, not particularly personal … doesn’t ask if you want to kill your baby. Only 6 years experience delivering babies. I don’t know if she has given birth herself or not. I forgot to ask.
So, I either bare myself to a man who is a total stranger I’ve never met and do not trust (chances are the doctor on call when I go into labour is not “my” doctor), and meanwhile before every checkup subject myself to bombardment with posters and advertisements about how not to have babies and how to kill them if I don’t want them. They are in every room there, every bathroom, exam room, ultrasound room, the doctor’s office, etc.
Or, I give myself over into the care of a woman who obviously does not even care to take care of herself.
181 days down … 85 more days to go.
Remember that you are in God’s hands, no matter what. I love you, my friend.
Yikes.
We had the MEDwife of nightmares in Richmond. That’s why Lexi was born at home in North Carolina with someone else!
It is way better to switch to someone you like and feel comfortable with than endure LABOR with someone who annoys you. Other people insist on having Christian physicians. I respect that desire. I insist on having someone who will respect me and fight for what I want instead of managing me into doing what is most convenient for them.
I will admit that I burst out laughing when I read the title of this entry… Perhaps that reflects on my bizarre sense of humor… but anyway…
Geez… That sounds like two horrible options… Are you sure there’s not another option that you haven’t looked into?
And is that a dead bird carcass on the background of this site?
Really, those do not sound like good options. I am praying that something better opens up for you.
Kristen: A Christian midwife would be great. I know of one in this area who helps deliver at the hospital, but none who do home births.
Nikki: Yes, that is a dead bird in the background. I’m glad someone thought it was funny. :D Here’s the story.
Gideon: Thank you. Prayers are greatly appreciated.
Hi Emeth. There is more than one midwife who’ll deliver at the Birth Center. They have a website with a staff listing: http://columbiabirthcenter.com/. They are all obese.
I’m having the same dilemma right now. It’s hard.
Actually choice one doesn’t sound too bad to me. But then, I’ve always preferred disinterested healthcare for myself. I’ve always found it easier to be at ease among those who are bored by my body than those who aren’t.
Or to summarize, exposure to strangers is easier than exposure to friends. Why do you think the internet is so popular.
p.s. Your title was rad. It made me laugh a bit.
In the end, though I understand not really enjoying the idea of that kind of invasion of privacy, I think you come off as a little judgmental here. Dandruffy, greasy, thinning hair? Come on, don’t be that person. Not everyone looks like a thousand bucks, and certainly not in their late forties. Poke fun of her looks if you must, but don’t use that as a gauge of her ability to perform her job.
Daney: I have a way of coming off as judgement all the time … LOL. Argh. In this case, though, would you not say that one is justified to expect a certain level of personal hygiene from someone in the medical profession? It doesn’t matter how ugly or beautiful she is I’m not poking any fun at her looks. I was offended at her uncleanness. If she doesn’t wash her hands before she delivers babies, that would be a problem, wouldn’t it? So wouldn’t the same apply to her hair? She touches her hair from time to time while she’s talking, too. That makes her hands dirty. And she shouldn’t be touching an open wound with dirty hands.
Hey, sorry about the doctor stuff. ): But to answer your question about whose hands you should put your lives in, our Fathers’. Surely he will hold both you and your baby in his heavenly hands where you are protected from all things, even dirty midwives and impersonal doctors. So cheer up dear friend!
If anything during birth displeases you, you don’t have to be polite about it. Midwives are used to being yelled at. If any profession requires the ability to take any verbal beating, it must be the midwives.
I think I side with the dane on the disinterested healthcare thing. I’ve never had a baby, but I hear it can get pretty disgusting. I’d rather have someone there who’s very unlikely to comment, attempt to cheer or calm me, etc. Something about being in pain makes me quite mean and unlikely to have patient for anyone trying to be nice or pretend to be familiar.
I think they generally wear gloves when they deliver babies. But neither of those options sound particularly appealing, as I would always prefer a woman, and I particularly like the grandmotherly type of certified nurse midwife.
On the plus side though, in my limited experience most minor considerations (such as whether there’s a buffalo in the room or a fire in the hallway) go out the window when you’re in labor. All I can think is “when do I get my epidural?” and “oh, thank the good Lord for drugs!” (that’s not a statement on the pros and cons of anesthesia, just a description of my experience – everybody is free to do what they feel is right!)
If the advice of a virtual stranger means anything, I would go with the birth center. Just the words you chose for the Dr. “controlling, businesslike, terse” leads me to believe you would have a hospital birth that would be heavy on intervention – IV’s, pitocin, stirrups, epidural etc. The plus side is you would probably labor with the Labor and Delivery nurses attending you, only to have the Dr. show up for the last few minutes to catch the baby.
Although the midwife certainly sounds less than
ideal, the birth center would prevent you from having all of the above medical intervention. Are there no other midwives on the staff?
For what it’s worth I have delivered twice in a hospital setting. There was no birth center in my area or I would have chosen one. I’m sorry we didn’t pursue the homebirth option. I don’t think the option for natural childbirth in a hospital setting exists in this country.