When I was little, a long, long time ago, my dear mother gave us an old tape player and a ton of tapes for us to play with. We loved it. Now that my baby is old enough to play by herself for longer periods at a time, I have looked up some of the things my brothers and I used to listen to so she can listen as she plays. At one point, we had almost every word and every breath memorized … it was fun.

Solomon to the Exile by Dr. John C. Whitcomb Jr. (go here for downloads)
My mother had tapes of Dr. Whitcomb from when she and Papa were in seminary. Ben and Berek and I used to know the kings of Israel and Judah backwards and forwards. I don’t remember them anymore. *sigh*

Poetry for Children (click here to download Part 1 & Part 2)
When I was eight or nine, Mama took us downtown once every couple weeks to the British Council Library. It was over an hour away and was an exciting, long trip, a mini adventure, changing trains numerous times, going up and down stairs through huge train stations. And then, utter bliss … a roomful of English books (remember, we lived in Tokyo). This is where I found all kinds of British authors I fell in love with, the Brontë sisters, Dickens, Austen, and my most favouritest of all, Sir Walter Scott. She found these poetry tapes there which she copied and we listened to over and over and over again. Beautifully read, with British accents. My friend Kudo-san converted them from cassette tape to MP3 and now Rinah listens to them often. They were from decades ago and I have no idea who read them.

Alexander the Great (click here to download MP3)
My favourite historical character and hero for many years during childhood, I listened to this tape over and over again. I would beg Papa to buy me biographies of him which after several years ended up being a collection of over 20 volumes. Even now, whenever I listen to Rimski-Korsakov’s Scheherazade, I can recite lines from memory as the music goes. This tape has all the characteristics of children’s history books that I hate now, making this homosexual mass-murderer into a great and wise hero, but it is a beautiful production, the music and the words match exquisitely, and I still love listening to it. I believe this audio recording is unavailable anywhere else online as I spent years searching for it. I found my old tape when my parents were preparing to move and Kudo-san changed it to MP3 for me. It’s from the out-of-print Ladybird children’s history books. I SO wish they were still available.

Old Testament in Hebrew read by Shlomo Bertonov (click here to download sample)
This is a recording from the Israeli radio Kol Israel. It is called the best Hebrew narration ever of Hebrew Scriptures. Listening to the language you are learning is essential and this recording is especially good for that. Every word is pronounced crisp and clear in the lyrical voice of a professional narrator. Small children soak up the sounds without understanding and it makes it easier for them to learn reading and writing later, just like when they learn their mother tongue. My brothers and I picked up the tones and inflections and memorized the first part of Genesis 1 just from listening to this over and over again. You can buy it at various places online (this place seems to be the cheapest) but not at Amazon. If you don’t want to pay for it, there are places you can download other recordings and other Hebrew learning resources for free.

Hamlet (buy), Romeo & Juliet (buy)
Both of these are starring Kenneth Branagh for BBC radio. Kenneth Branagh and the BBC … what more need I say? It’s a match made in heaven. I didn’t listen to these particular recordings when I was little, but Papa had us watch many, many BBC Shakespeare videos. My favourite Shakespeare productions are still Henry V and Hamlet.

So I noticed that the worse I feel, the more people come to ask me, “How are you feeling today?” I mostly just try to smile and say, “Pregnant.” That’s something a lady who had a pile load of kids taught me to say last spring. It has been immensely helpful. Seriously. What else am I supposed to say? What do they expect me to say?

Here are a few of the things I have had the wonderful self-control not to keep to myself so far. That’s why I’m posting them online. End of self-control. Hahaha.

- I feel like a bag of barf.
- I keep tasting my breakfast, over and over again. And my lunch. And my dinner.
- My brain feels like it’s full of barf.
- Your perfume makes me want to barf. GET AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BARF ON YOU!!

You get the idea.

The baby is in the midst of heavy teething (three months of pain and nothing to show for it yet) so she woke up crying 5 times last night. I had to go to the bathroom 5 times last night. I have not had more than an hour of consecutive sleep for a week. This past week, I have barely been able to drag my carcass out of bed. Today is the first time in what feels like FOREVER that I didn’t feel sick all day. I think it’s because we went out late last night for Japanese food (kake udon for EIGHT DOLLARS … about five times as much as I would pay in Japan *sob*) and my stomach was comforted by something familiar. Thank you, God.

And btw, you have no idea how blessed you are to go through your day without burping lemon-flavoured cod liver oil in your mouth all day. OK, yes, TMI, TMI.

I had more than 10 people ask me on Sunday how I felt when I was so sick I had trouble smiling. I appreciate that people cared, but I wished they would say something else, anything else. I am not used to being asked that so much. I have trouble answering.

Berek called last night and we talked about the never-ending “How are you” questions in America. He pointed out that it is embedded in American language and culture. It is rude and unfriendly not to ask, especially when someone looks sick or injured. It’s not like in Japan or China where your friends will offer comments of commiseration on how you obviously feel so you just nod or give monosyllabic acknowledgment.

For the record, I don’t think it’s right or wrong either way. People in various times and places have different ways of expressing their love and care. I understand that. I just don’t know how to respond to the American ways sometimes and feel really stupid and frustrated when I don’t know what to say.

I didn’t like it at first … but I miss it now.

- Peace be with you.
- And with your spirit.

Maybe I’ll teach my kids to say it in Latin.

- Pax tecum.
- Et cum spiritu tuo.

Now that’s it’s almost Christmastime, I am missing home so badly. I just got this video from a friend in Tokyo. They are practicing part of the Magnificat (BWV 243) by Johann Sebastian Bach to sing at our annual Christmas church service for non-Christian friends and family. Each Sunday school class prepares something (like Bible verses, psalms, hymns, etc.) and some adults do something, too, like this.

I grew up with this sort of thing, all year round, every year. I used to sing with my mother and brothers in a choral group that sang only church music. We practiced 6 to 10 hours a week for several months and had concerts several times a year with a full orchestra and European conductors with real opera singers singing the soloist parts. Bach’s Matthew’s Passion, Bach’s John’s Passion, Mendelssohn’s St. Paul, Mozart’s Requiem, that sort of thing. I miss it so much it physically hurts. We went to concerts like this all the time.

I miss family, and friends, and civilization, and music, and culture, and good food (fresh smoked EEL, people!), and beauty, and variety in all things, and public transportation, and smog, and fiber optic internet … and not seeing obese people everywhere.

I want people to come to my funeral dressed like they are going to a wedding, wearing beautiful, bright colours … or white. And I don’t want them to be sad. And I want there to be a big feast, a wedding feast.  Because when I die, it will be a wedding of sorts. I get to go to heaven and be perfectly happy with Christ!

I look forward to dying. I have since I was a little girl. But I don’t want to die just yet. I need to see my babies grow up and have babies their own first, Lord willing.

Oh, and also, I want to be cremated. Let’s not go into the theological implications of that. I’d just prefer it.