My New Car

Every Mazda I see is mine … especially the MazdaSpeed3 hatchbacks. They are all mine. Here is one.

I close my eyes and I can see the colours and feel the pedals. Ohhh.

But a MazdaSpeed3 would limit our family to 2 children because it wouldn’t fit more than 2 carseats. At this point, it crosses my mind several times a day that 2 children might be just enough for this family. I can’t roll over in bed. I can’t walk without gasping and wincing and hobbling and waddling like I’m 80. Rinah grunts when she bends over and stands back up. She thinks that’s just what people are supposed to do. ROTFLOL. Some days I am reduced to crawling from sheer pain and discomfort. And I dread having to go through labour again. But I know that a few months from now, I will forget about all these piddly details and probably be dying to have another baby. Smack me.

So, with all these real and imaginary kids between me and my dream car, I should probably get a Mazda CX-9. It’s still a beautiful Mazda. It would fit a lot of kids. And look, it even comes with leather seats (so it’s easier to clean up drool and vomit and crumbs) and a nice house.

It’s still got the pretty lights even on the steering wheel. And one of those little car remote controls that unlock the car or even start it up before you get to it.

And it comes in red and purple. So shiny. Now all I need is 30,000 dollars and I’m all set!

This the kind of yukky horror we’re looking at. And it’ll probably die as soon as we buy it. And then we’ll get another one just like it that we’ll run into the ground.

And after all the braces and music lessons and college tuition and weddings are paid for, then I’ll be DEAD and I’ll NEVER get to drive a beautiful shiny Mazda. *weeps and wails and steps into grave and pulls tombstone over self*

IMPORTANT NOTE: Oh, wait. I remember now. I’m not paying for ANY weddings. If a guy is serious enough about Rinah, he is going to come get her with dowry in hand AND pay for everything. And if this next baby is a boy (and not a girl with a funky umbilical cord) then he is going to save up and be ready to do that for whatever girl he’s going to marry.

6 comments to My New Car

  • Ben

    There will be Mazdas in heaven, honey. How are we going to get around on the new earth?

  • Totally understand this post…

    On the other hand, looking at your present background (Paris, or is that something that just looks to me like the Eiffel Tower?) makes me feel the same way about foreign cities I’ll never get to live in. When you blogged from Tokyo, I felt that way regularly.

    Oh well, grass, greenness and fences, and all that.

  • How could you possibly want to pass up pain, fatness, crumbs, vomit and human feces for a beautiful new car? LOL

  • I’m so determined not to have a minivan (where would I park one in the city? impossible) but I think it can be done if you buy an old Buick or Oldsmobile, you know: bench seats! I remember being happily crammed three, even four, in the back, doubling seat-belts and singing at the top of our merry little lungs. A family with four kids can manage three in the back and three (two adults plus one kid) in the front in one of these old goldies. And not so cumbersome on the parking, or the gas bill.

  • Christopher Witmer

    Emeth, O stylish Mama, here is the solution to your problems:
    http://www.canpages.ca/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/chevrolet-corvette-stingray-stretch-limo.jpg

  • Christopher Witmer

    Here are some other choices:

    http://www.canpages.ca/blog/?p=104

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