• cannot understand why Rinah keeps saying so earnestly, “Daddy peed on the couch, Mama, Daddy peed on the couch.” #
• is listening to her son gargle his drool. #
• is surprised that Rinah is saying, “Let’s go upstairs and lie down.” She must be really tired from the long walk. The dog is tired, too. LOL #
• @orangehairedboy happy birthday! :) in reply to orangehairedboy #
• is trying to think of all the things she has done in her life that she does NOT regret … will let you know how that goes. LOL. #
• wishes Rinah would stop crying and fall asleep. #
• is glad Rinah is singing about Daddy and Doddy (Dodgy) but wishes she would hurry up and fall asleep. #
• Girl and Dog are asleep. Now just need to get Boy down. #
• just sheared her son of his glorious hair and is very sad. #
• hates herself for what she did to her son’s head. #
• has a husband-in-law. #
• loves it when her little boy snuggles up to nurse, crossing his legs and tucking his toes into her arm. #
• slept incredibly soundly last night. #
• is cooking with Rinah on the counter “helping,” the boy caressing my left leg and the dog licking the toes on my right foot. #
• Rinah is saying, “I wanna take a picture of my eyes, Mama. I want the camera.” When that didn’t work, “I wanna write words, Mama.” #
• does not know how to comfort Rinah who is weeping and wailing, “I don’t like the letter F, Mama, I don’t like it.” #
• just spent an hour at the bank with two very opiniated children. #
• corrected her mailing address at the county auditor’s office thanks to the stupid frikken post office’s REPEATED screwups. #
• just changed the name on her driver’s license … it took 2 years for her to get her new soc sec number. #
• had her first iced white venti mocha (with whole milk and whip cream) in months. #
• has been so productive today all the dishes in the sink make her feel no guilt whatsoever … lallalaa. #
• just finished a lunch date at Olive Garden with Jill and her two daughters. #
• got her engagement ring checked and polished. So sparkly! Rinah says, “I want more diamonds, Mama.” #
• is mad at herself for forgetting to bring dog food … driving all the way home to get it. Gah! #

Random is so not random. The random Wikipedia link to me to a page for a train station in Japan. The random quote generated something which has plenty of meaning if you know what’s been going on in this house again lately. I guess the picture was pretty random.

YOUR ALBUM COVER

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations” or click www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. (make sure you hit the new random quotations button at the bottom)

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or www.picnik.com to put it all together.

• cannot understand why Rinah keeps saying so earnestly, “Daddy peed on the couch, Mama, Daddy peed on the couch.” #
• is listening to her son gargle his drool. #

A couple of months ago, I bought a few story books for Rinah and she loves them. She says every day, “Mama, I want to read books! Please. Mama, Let’s read,” over and over again till I sit down and read with her. She likes the Little Red Riding Hood book but I don’t like it. I didn’t grow up reading European fairy tales so this is new territory for me.

As we’re reading, I tell to her that Little Red Riding Hood’s mother should not have sent her little daughter out so young; that God did not create people to live out in the middle of nowhere like her grandmother does; and that the Wolf, like other predators, prey on the young, the elderly, and those who have wandered away from the herd.

Even though the story of Little Red Riding Hood ends well with the sheep rescued and the wolf vanquished, stories do not always end so well in real life. Satan loves to prey on those who have alienated themselves from God’s people not just spiritually and emotionally, but physically as well. We cannot separate our bodies from our minds and hearts. We were created so that we are not whole unless our lives interpenetrate others in daily life. (See my great hero, Dr. Leithart’s article “Making Room” in the latest Credenda/Agenda, Volume 20, Issue 3, click this link for the PDF.)

Children in the same neighborhood often play together. Growing up, I played with the kids next door and I see that with my friend’s kids (Lisa N, Terri R, Meghan E, and friends back in Tokyo). My friends stand in their kitchens and turn around to find neighbor kids have showed up in their house asking to play with their kids. That’s the way it is supposed to be.

Now that we have a puppy and I’m reading about the importance of socializing and how dogs need to learn about other dogs and humans by spending time with them in infancy, I have been thinking about the importance of socializing for my own children. Puppies that are not properly socialized can become problem dogs. Among other things, when they see other dogs they do not recognize themselves as dogs and can be aggressive towards people they are unfamiliar with (I don’t know all this, it’s just what I’ve read, LOL). Human beings need socialization and learn to live with and identify with their own kind (God’s people) and learn to live with other kinds (the world) or they grow up to be problem people.

I long to live next door to a friend so my children can just run across the yard to see their friends and we can have them over also. I and the mother next door could leave our kids at each other’s house to go shopping or run errands. We could drop by for sugar or flour, an avocado, a cup of espresso.

If we lived in Tokyo, we could just walk down the street and we could visit most of our church friends. By the time Rinah turned 6 or 7, she could hop on her bicycle and visit them herself. She would have the freedom of an American high school student with a driver’s licence. But we don’t live in Tokyo.

Right now, wherever we go out for puppy and baby socialization, I need to pack up diapers, clothes, food, time naps and mealtimes correctly, and get the kids and dog in the car, and drive 20 or 30 minutes to see anyone. While I’m gone, obviously I can’t do anything around the house so things like laundry and cleaning the house get skipped over so the kids and I can spend time with others. Same goes for those who come over to visit me, whereas if we lived next door or down the street, we could all spend time together and without sacrificing housework. It kills me to think of all the money I spend on gas and all the hours I spend driving and I keep dreaming (literally!) of living within walking distance of friends.

A lot of days, I don’t make it out of the house and it drives me mad. I was never so isolated in my life as I was when I got married and started living here without a driver’s licence, cut off from daily communion with family, church, and society as a whole. Every day, I felt myself slipping farther and farther into depression and insanity. For quite a while after moving here, I felt that I should learn deal with it and be happy and content with staying at home all day. I told myself I need to learn to adjust to American life and I thought my problem was not being thankful enough. Granted, I do have a problem with ingratitude … a big one. But I realize now that in this case, ingratitude was not the problem. The more I talk to other mothers who feel the same way and as I meditate on how to shape the little human beings God put in my care, I realize our reactions are consistent with the way my Creator meant for us to be. Postpartum depression is a disease of “civilized” people who abandon mothers to isolation at home without human contact. I am not insane. I am sane for going insane from isolation.

You really have to go read that article (click here to download PDF). Dr. Leithart writes so much better than I do, LOL. God sent His words and wisdom through Dr. Leithart, and watered my heart parched by the wilderness here. I am encouraged and happy. I am so thankful to my Triune God for “making room” for me and for providing me with such faithful friends here.

• is so tired today. 5:33 pm
• My car smells like pitas and poop. 5:33 pm
• Lies literally make me physically sick, sick, sick. I hate liars. 5:33 pm
• is trying to keep herself together. 5:33 pm
• is laughing because Rinah just said, “Thanks for taking my boogers out, Mama!” 5:33 pm

• is trying to keep herself together. #
• is laughing because Rinah just said, “Thanks for taking my boogers out, Mama!” #

• Lies literally make me physically sick, sick, sick. I hate liars. 5:33 pm

• is so tired today. 5:33 pm

• is excited. 5:33 pm

• can hear the sound of her cell phone screen and it bugs the heck outta her. 5:33 pm
• hates having to pay so much for medical insurance that doesn’t cover anything she needs … midwife, chiropractor, allergist, etc. 5:33 pm
• thinks breastmilk must be pretty amazing to produce such a high-energy baby. 5:33 pm