Mama & Baby: Essentials & Non-Essentials

My cousin Tim and his beautiful wife Lydia are expecting a baby soon and I was asked for help with the baby registry and newborn baby shopping. And one of my friends from Tokyo/Hong Kong/New York (hey, Mary-Katherine!) is also having her first baby soon. And another friend who also lives in the Dry Shitties is having her first baby, too.

Each mother is going to have a different list of what she finds essential. For all of you, here are some of the things I could not live without as a mother of a newborn and toddler … or that I would not want to live without. If you would like more detailed information on any of these items or topics, just e-mail me.

If you’re going to order a lot of your baby items from Amazon, you should join Amazon Mom and get free Prime (2-day) shipping on most products. It doesn’t cost anything to join Amazon Mom and I don’t get anything for telling you about it. I’m just telling you because I got it and love it and it’s saved me I don’t know how much money in shipping costs. And it’s way easier than dragging all my kids to the store to try to buy one thing that they may not have.

 

Infant Car Seat: Britax Chaperone Infant Car Seat

This is the safest baby car seat. If I remember correctly, it is the only infant seat with side impact protection. It has a plush, velvety padded cover that goes over thick foam that sits on top of styrofoam on top of the plastic bucket seat. It’s gotta be incredibly comfortable.

When Rinah was a baby, we received a cheap infant car seat as a gift. She spent hours and hours screaming in it every time we got in the car. When she was 9 months old, a friend told us about Britax seats and the day we put her in one she quit her incessant screaming.

When I compared her old seat to the Britax infant seat, I realized she must have been horribly uncomfortable. Her old seat only had a thin piece of fabric that went directly over plastic. No padding, nothing. All my babies have been in Britax seats ever since. If you want more info on car seat safety, e-mail me.

This is the only baby item I would not buy used because you want to be absolutely sure that it has not been in a car accident. Right now I do use one a friend gave me that she bought new for her own child who has since grown out of it.

 

Baby Bunting or Car Seat Bundler/Cover-up/Thingie

If your winters get cold and you have a newborn, you will want a bunting. My favourite one is a dark blue Hanna Andersson bunting from their baby line 3 years ago. I bought a new one for $15 on TheBabyWearer Marketplace. This is the one they have for this year’s line. You don’t have to get a Hanna Andersson bunting. But do get a bunting to keep that baby warm. You don’t want one that is very bulky or it will not be safe to use in the car seat. I like the one I have because it is a thick, dense fleece. It keeps baby warm but it is form-fitting enough that it can be used in a car seat.

Do not get a JJ Cole Bundle Me. It is great for a stroller but not safe to use in a car seat. Some hospitals will not even allow the baby to go home in one. Try the Nojo Cover-up or the Kiddopotamus CozyUp Carrier Cover instead. They fit over the car seat and it is safe to tuck blankets on top of the baby under the cover after strapping baby in.

 

Baby Bed: Arm’s Reach Mini Co-sleeper / Regular Co-Sleeper

For a while, I used a crib pushed up next to the bed with one side removed but this was much, much easier to use. It also is made so it can easily be attached to any bed without any gaps in between it and the bed.

Sleep researchers have found that mothers who sleep next to or in the same room as their babies get more sleep than mothers who sleep in a separate room from their babies. If your baby is next to you, you will hear the baby stirring and starting to wake up for a nursing before the baby starts crying or is fully awake and you can reach over and start nursing the baby before you are 100% awake. This way, everyone gets more sleep and the baby does not ever need to spend a lot of time crying at night.

I have a ton more info on co-sleeping if you want it, scientific and theological. When you examine the way we are created, you can see God made mothers to sleep with their babies.

We bought our co-sleeper new (former owner did not use it at all) on Craigslist for $50 and another one for $20. For a while we had both of them attached to each side of the bed. The bigger one can be used to around age 2 (depending on baby’s weight).

If you’re on a budget, you can get a used play pen and use it next to the bed. It’s just more trouble because you have to get out of bed and go pick up the baby but with a co-sleeper you can stay in bed and just grab the baby.

 

Baby Hammock: Happy Hangup

This is different from a mechanical baby swing because it moves up and down, right and left, and all around. A mechanical swing only jerks from right to left or front to back and it is not good for vestibular development. In a hammock, babies calm down and their brains go into the same brain wave patterns that they had when they were in utero. I did not have a hammock till my third baby and now I cannot imagine ever going back to life with a baby without a hammock. My toddlers love it, too.

I got mine used on DiaperSwappers Marketplace for $100.

(Note: Don’t buy the Amby. It was recalled because babies died in it. It’s not properly shaped for putting a baby into.)

 

Nursing Pillow: Boppy

Without this pillow, I do not know how I would have gotten through the hours and hours and hours of nursing my first three when they were newborns. Prester was so humongous from the time he was born I never needed it. If you have this pillow, you can put your newborn on it and you can cuddle your baby close while you nurse (or sit there like a zombie and stare at the wall) and you won’t have to hold up your baby’s weight. Believe it or not, even 6 pounds can feel like 60 after a so many hours. I used this a lot in a rocking chair.

I like the Luxe covers because they are so soft and velvety. I ended up buying two covers for my pillow so I could have one clean one while one was in the wash but you could get by just fine with one cover and using a towel while it’s in the wash.

I got one new at Target and got my second one on Craigslist for $10. I bought my extra cover on Amazon.

 

Rocking Chair/Glider

Which brings me to my next item, a rocking chair or glider. This item is not strictly absolutely necessary, I guess, but oh, you will be so glad you have one to nurse in. I have spent a lot of time rocking my kids from newborn to toddlerhood. It’s good for nursing, for comforting, for putting to sleep, for watching movies. We got our super comfy chair at a yard sale for just $25 dollars.

 

Swaddler: Kiddopotamus & Co. Organic Cotton SwaddleMe Small/Med 7-14lb – Ivory

Babies are squished in there pretty tightly in the womb. When they are born, it frightens them when their limbs flail around in mid-air (Moro Reflex). Swaddling makes them happier when they are awake and helps them sleep more soundly without startling themselves awake with their uncontrolled jerky limb movements. We used various swaddlers and I liked this one best. If you’re on a budget you can swaddle with almost any baby blanket or piece of cloth. This particular item is not necessary for swaddling.

Remember when swaddling not to restrict the legs. They should be allowed to pull up in the fetal position. Straightening and restricting the legs can be bad for the baby’s hips and back. See here for more info.

 

Baby Seat: Bumbo

This seat is great for little babies who have head/neck control to sit in on their own. It was recalled for a while because of stupid, stupid parents who left their babies in the seat on a counter unattended. The babies fell out onto the floor and fractured their skulls. Just use some common sense regarding babies and gravity and this is one of the best purchases you’ll ever make.

My three older kids loved it. Prester hates it but I think it’s because he was never really small enough for it. We got ours on Craigslist for $15. You can also buy it new at Target for $40.

 

Baby Carrier: Wrap or Soft Structured Carrier

Babies do not just want to be held, they have a physical need to be held. I love holding my babies but it is almost impossible to do anything with a baby in my arms. With a wrap or a baby carrier, you can have your hands free to do whatever you need to do (dishes, laundry, sweeping, cooking, etc.). I do own a stroller but I’ve only used it a couple of times. I use my baby carriers 99% of the time.

Here are some reasons I carry my babies so much, why I don’t carry them around in a car seat, interesting stuff about exterogestation, and here is why I hold my babies instead of using a stroller.

Carrying a baby in a carrier is often called “babywearing” and I have a page about it. If you have trouble picking a carrier, let me know. Here’s the short version.

• Stretchy wrap: great for newborns, but not safe for heavier babies.
  I loved my soft stretchy Moby Wrap for my newborns. It is available in a ton of solid colors and prints and it is an ideal first wrap for parents new to wearing their babies. I bought mine used for $15.
• Woven (i.e. non-stretchy) wrap: great for newborns up to toddlers
  If you want just one wrap for all your children from newborns and up, you want a woven wrap. I have several of these. You can get a really good one new for around $100 and used starting around $60. Let me know if you want more help with choosing or buying one. I’m a wrap geek.
• SSC (Soft Structured Carrier): a baby pack with buckles
  Do not buy a Baby Bjorn. I love most of their products but their baby carrier is not good for you or your baby. I have a Beco that I really love. It is for people who are smaller to normal build. There are many beautiful, limited edition prints. The Ergo is also a very popular choice. It is for people who are normal to larger build.

 

Baby Nail Scissors: Tweezerman Yellow Baby Nail Scissors

For whatever reason, various people gave me baby nail scissors and clippers when Rinah was born. I remember holding her in my lap, content, still, and as I was cutting her nails I accidentally cut her baby flesh, and she started screaming as the blood ran. Oh, the horror. I felt so awful. So I tried another pair. And another. I thought it was my fault but, no, after I got a good pair of baby nail scissors, I never cut her again. My pair is one that’s made in Japan and not available here in the US but this pair looks very similar and it has a 5-star rating on Amazon.

 

Snot Sucker: Nose Frieda

This item would fit in my top 10 list of baby things to have. Or top 5. Or top 3. It’s an absolute essential. I’ve written about the Japanese one I have. Now you can get one in America on Amazon. This has 530 reviews on Amazon with a 4.5 star rating. It’s just that amazing.

When your babies gets sick, and your babies WILL get sick, their noses will get congested. This means they will not be able to nurse without gasping for air every few sucks and it means they will not be able to sleep very well because they can’t breathe. It also means that you will constantly be wiping their noses and they will probably get that rough red raw patch of skin from the constant wiping. This snot sucker will free you from all that.

And when your baby becomes a toddler who is still unable to blow out snot into a kleenex, it will save you from rivers of runny snot all over the place.

Also, I find these tweezers utterly indispensable. I bought them in Japan and couldn’t find them here anywhere for friends who asked about them but now they are on Amazon! Even though babies have tiny little nostrils they get gigantomundo boogers that put an adult to shame. At least my kids do. And then they can’t breathe right. Plus it’s super annoying to hear the booger in there every time they inhale and exhale.

 

Thermometer

You will want one. I have an ear thermometer I got in Japan. I still don’t get Fahrenheit very well. I can’t recommend an American one but this is something you will definitely want to have.

 

Potty Products: Baby Bjorn Potty & Baby Bjorn Toilet Seat & Baby Bjorn Step Stool

After bashing the Baby Bjorn baby carriers, I gotta say they make the best potties out there. And the cutest. I like the Baby Bjorn Smart Potty best of their different models. It is their newest potty chair and a hybrid between their baby potty and their potty chair, combining the best of both potties.

When they are too big for the baby potty but still too small for the adult potty, you will want a toilet seat. I’ve seen a ton of different toilet seats out there that various friends and acquaintances use. The Baby Bjorn one is the highest quality, easiest to clean, and the cutest.

You can get a matching step stool, too, that is sturdy and unbreakable, with a non-slip waffle-weave patterned rubber top and rubber feet. My kids use it every day.

 

Bibs: Baby Bjorn Bib

There are many, many bibs in this world. I have tried many of them. With a child learning to eat, you will want a bib. Not just a bib that keeps food off clothing, but a bib that keeps food from falling on the floor. This bib is shaped so that it catches most of the food your baby drops. As far as I know, it’s the best baby bib out there. Super easy to clean. Just wipe clean or chuck it in the top rack of your dishwasher. I’ve been using the one I got for Rinah for over 3 years and it still looks new.

Other baby bibs, even ones that are shaped very similarly, have cracked or torn but the Baby Bjorn bibs are very sturdy, flexible, and seem virtually indestructible.

 

Booster Seat and/or High Chair

This is a potentially expensive item you may want to add to your registry. I never liked any of the booster seats I’ve seen till this one. It was only $12 with free shipping and better than all those other expensive ones I’ve seen and used at friends’ houses. It’s easy to install on a regular dining chair and easy to wipe clean. I love it.

Babies in a high chair are removed from the table. While this might seem like a desirable thing sometimes, I like that this booster seat brings the child to the table so the child can be part of the meal, be involved … consciously perichoretic life, folks.

I also like that this combined with the Baby Bjorn bib means very little mess to clean up at the table.

I do have a beautiful high chair that I am madly in love with but it is a vintage one from decades ago and not available anymore. A lady at church was cleaning out a relative’s garage and gave it to me. Free!

I used an Eddie Bauer high chair from Target before that and hated it. It comes with handsome wooden slats that are so close together it is impossible to clean when food gets stuck between the slats. Don’t get that one. I sold it on Craigslist.

 

Baby Gates

This is something that is great to have. I can’t recommend any gate in particular because I can’t stand any of the ones I have or any of the ones my friends have. But even if you don’t like the one you have, you will probably be glad you have it.

 

Diapers/Wipes

If you are on a tight budget, you may want to consider putting cloth diapers on your registry. Using cloth can save you thousands of dollars.

 

Diaper Bag

Not an essential, because, really, any bag at all will do, even a plastic grocery bag … BUT … it’s nice to have a nice diaper bag. I have a beautiful one made by Baby Kaed, and I have wept for and lusted after Ju-Ju-Be, Petunia Pickle Bottom Cake Collection, and Timi & Leslie.

 

Nursing Pads, Nipple Cream

You will probably need nursing pads of some sort after your baby is born. Most new mothers leak breastmilk till their milk supply stabilizes. If you don’t want to be dripping milk everywhere and get wet spots on your shirt, you can use disposable pads or go for reusable ones. I only used the nice disposable ones (which I bought at Walmart) but I have friends who used the Lily Padz and really loved them. Some people use wool nursing pads. I’ve never tried those either.

If your nipples get dry or cracked or sore, you will want Lansinoh. It is a lanolin cream that helps healing. I recommend having this on hand just in case you need it because invariably you will need it around 2 AM and it’s no fun running to the store at that hour. If you need it, Target and Walmart will have it. At least the ones in my area do.

 

Nursing Bra/Nursing Tank Top/Nursing Shirt/Nursing Cover

There are good ones out there. I know there are. I just don’t know what they are. I live too far out in the boonies so there is no store nearby where I can go to try on bras. Ordering online has been awful. If you live in a decent-sized city, find a store that carries nursing bras and do yourself a favor and get at least two.

Nursing tank tops can be really convenient for around the house. Don’t get the ones at Target. They fall apart after a couple of washes.

Personally, I found a nursing shirt to be kind of a waste of money.

I love the nursing cover I have and it comes in handy sometimes. It’s a Peanut Shell Nursing Cover and the pattern is a pink one called Weekend in Paris. Maybe someday before I die….

 

Bottles/Sippy Cups/Cups

With Rinah, I used regular, not particularly special sippy cups. I think it is one of the things that caused her nipple confusion and early self-weaning. To prevent nipple confusion (and ear infections!), use the Born Free bottles and sippy cups (also available at Target). They have a special valve so that while the baby/toddler is drinking there is no pressure build-up in the ears. Also, the spout is long and goes deep in the mouth. My two older kids really liked their Born Free sippy cups. Thane refused to use it at all but I think it’s because by the time he was old enough for a sippy cup the older kids were drinking out of glasses and he wanted to be like them.

I use the Duralex 3 3/4 oz glasses for the kids. They are sparkly and beautiful and fit in a little child’s hand perfectly. Also, after a long day with the kids, they are the perfect size for a little Irish cream on the rocks or a shot of whatever you desire. (Yes, it’s perfectly fine to have a drink or two of alcohol while nursing. No need to be paranoid and pump and dump.)

I got my Duralex glasses at Costco for less than half the Amazon price.

 

Baby Lotion/Baby Soap

Amazingly enough, baby lotions often have harsh chemicals, hormone disrupters, and a host of really awful ingredients (Aveeno, Johnson & Johnson, etc.). To find out more about what is safe for your baby, see this site. Or just buy Weleda or Earth Mama Angel Baby or California Baby products. I’ve tried various safe baby skin products and I like Weleda baby lotion the best (it’s 40% off retail price on Amazon with free shipping!) and the Earth Mama Angel Baby foaming body wash and my Aunt Kathy bought me the 34 oz refill. I love that stuff.

 

Baby Bath, Bath Toys

When your baby is small, having a baby bath tub can be pretty convenient. I enjoyed using mine with all 4 of my babies. I got mine for $10 at a baby consignment store.

Bath toys are fun to have but make sure you get ones that do not have a hole in them or mold and horrible goo will grow inside and your kids will drink it. Read about it. Sooooo gross. Depending on the kind of mold that grows in them, it can cause skin rashes. One of my friends learned this the hard way. Target has some duckies that are hole-less and you can get hole-less ones online, too. My kids like this bath toy and this duckie. Boon makes safe, beautiful bath toys and they are available on Amazon and at Target.

 

Pacifiers, Pacifier Clip/Chain

No matter how hard I tried, every one of my children steadfastly refused to take a pacifier so I really have no need for a pacifier chain but I’ve looked at a lot of them. A friend has a really cute one from Haba. I like the Bink Links, too.

And if you want to get a really good pacifier, here are some all natural rubber ones.

 

Baby Bouncer, Johnny Jump Up

This can be a lifesaver if you want to keep your baby happy for a couple minutes while you’re on the  phone or going to the bathroom.

 

Riding Toys

Not necessary, but so fun for the kids to have and fun to decorate a kids’ room with. We have a couple of Wheely Bugs (one large, one small, got on clearance with a coupon code and free shipping) and a Rody (available on Amazon but it’s easier to see all the color choices on the manufacturer’s site).

 

Soft-Soled Shoes

There are many brands of soft-soled shoes out there now. They are good for your kids to learn to walk in because it is like walking barefoot (their toes can still grip the ground) but it protects their feet. You can get them at Target or a nice shoe store. I’ve bought Robeez for my kids. They are expensive but you can find them on clearance or gently used online or at consignment stores. I especially love the brown moccasin boots.

 

Baby Monitor

I have one but have ended up never using it. If you live in a large house and put your baby down to sleep, you may want to add one to your wishlist. I cannot recommend any one in particular.

 

Amber Teething Necklaces

They’re cute and safe and keep your baby out of pain. I’ve written about them here.

 

Teething Toy: Sophie, The Teething Giraffe

Apparently, this is a must-have in France and most babies there have one. Prester loves chewing on his. It’s so cute.

 

Books

No list of baby things would be complete without books! I’ll keep this list short. If you don’t want to do much reading, just get the first three and keep them for reference. You will not regret it. I promise. Please buy them and keep them on hand even if you don’t read them right away.

• The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads To Happier, Healthier Development
• The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two
• The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby
• Here are a bunch of other Dr. Sears’ books on various topics as you need them